Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: When Addiction Reshapes a Family

You Thought You Were Done Raising Kids. Then the Phone Rang.

More than two million children in the United States are being raised primarily by grandparents, and parental substance use is one of the leading reasons. If you are packing school lunches at 65 or learning a new math curriculum at 70 because your son or daughter cannot care for their children right now, you are not alone, and you are not failing. You are holding a family together under conditions nobody planned for.

How Common This Is

Generations United, a national organization focused on grandfamilies, reports that for every child in foster care with a relative, many more are being raised by relatives outside the formal system. Research compiled by the Child Welfare Information Gateway shows that children in kinship care tend to have more stability, fewer placement changes, and stronger connections to family and culture than children in non-relative foster care. Your care matters enormously, even when it does not feel like enough.

Getting the Legal Basics in Place

Many grandparents care for grandchildren informally for months before realizing they cannot enroll a child in school, consent to medical care, or add them to insurance without legal authority. Options in Kansas generally include:

• Power of attorney signed by the parent, which grants limited authority and can be revoked
• Guardianship through the court, which gives you legal decision-making authority while the parent retains parental rights
• Formal kinship placement through the Kansas Department for Children and Families if the state is involved, which may come with financial and case management support

The Kansas Department for Children and Families offers kinship care information, and Kansas Legal Services can help families who cannot afford an attorney. Ask early. Legal clarity protects the children and reduces conflict later.

Taking Care of Yourself Too

Grandparents raising grandchildren report higher rates of depression, financial strain, and health problems than their peers. That is not weakness. It is the weight of the job. Practical steps that help:

• Find a grandfamily support group. Community mental health centers, churches, and Area Agencies on Aging across Kansas host them. Talking with people in the same situation is powerful medicine.
• Ask about benefits. Children may be eligible for KanCare (Medicaid), food assistance, child care assistance, or Social Security benefits depending on the situation.
• Let the school know. Counselors can connect the child to support and connect you to resources.
• Get the children help processing what happened. Children of parents with addiction carry grief, confusion, and sometimes trauma. Early counseling changes trajectories.

Holding Onto Hope for Your Adult Child

Perhaps the hardest part is loving two generations at once: protecting the grandchildren while still hoping your own child finds recovery. Both can be true. Set clear boundaries about contact, money, and safety. Keep the door open for treatment. And remember that addiction is a treatable medical condition. Many parents who lose custody during active addiction go on to recover and rebuild relationships with their children. Your steadiness during this chapter may be what makes that reunion possible.

When Your Adult Child Is Ready

If the parent in this story reaches the point of asking for help, please know that help is close. LifeSpring Recovery of Andover offers medical detox and residential treatment in the Wichita metro, with admissions available now and KanCare accepted. Call (316) 348-5571 or contact our admissions team. We will walk through the next step with your family, whatever it looks like.